Doing Nothing

Doing nothing is harder than it seems. When we sit in front of the TV or go on the computer or take a nap we feel like we're doing nothing, and we say we're doing nothing, but actually we're doing something. Sitting and being silent and clearing your mind is a lot harder. I chose to be silent before I went into a dance class. I just sat and thought and nobody questioned me or asked what I was doing. For me, doing nothing is hard because I think it's a waste of time. I'm a really busy person, and I barely have enough time to eat during the day, so why spend ten minutes sitting when I could be exercising or eating or catching up with friends who I don't get to talk to during the day? I get that doing nothing is supposed to clear your mind and let you notice what's going on around you, but for me the way I do that is through listening to music or going on a walk, not through doing "nothing".

When you think about it, doing nothing is still doing something. You can never be doing nothing because you're always thinking and breathing and taking note of your surroundings. Doing nothing is a task many people try to do, but I think it's near impossible.

This I Believe

Sometimes I think I'm a walking contradiction. I'm accepting, but I'm stubborn. I'm open, yet I'm closed. I'm sure of who I am, yet I can't put a label on my beliefs. Despite my occasional wishy-washyness, I'm an opinionated person. I have opinions on how people should act in a theatre, how family should treat each other, what's appropriate to say to one another, and what one should be spending their precious time doing. I get that everyone is different, I just think that there is a universal way that people should act towards one another.

I believe in kindness. I believe that everyone is fighting a rough battle, and no matter how many Gucci bags they have, or presents they get on Christmas, or trophies they have representing their successes, everyone has struggles. Not to say that at every single moment every single person has underlying depression and they feel forced to put up a front to hide their true feelings. No, it's just that we all face different battles at different points in our lives. I believe that kindness is a universal way of telling each other, it's okay that you're feeling a certain way, and although I may never personally experience what you're going through, I get that it hurts right now.

I know that I'm very fortunate. I grew up in a nice house in a nice neighborhood with nice married parents and an occasionally nice brother. I've been given clothes, books, iPods, cell phones, a good education, and the support from my family that I need in order to be successful. I understand that some people don't have this life. Not everyone gets the gismos and gadgets and the seemingly endless supply of Goldfish. I'm thankful for what I have. Although my parents are married and my brother and I get along really well, we've got our struggles. Few people know that my dad has been married two times before my mom. I don't have step siblings or half siblings and have never met these other women, but I obviously have a knowledge of them. When I was little I used to think I had three moms...a strange phase in my life, not knowing how the whole reproduction thing worked. My family has always been very open. Nothing has been hidden from me. We still make Marie's sweet potato pie on Thanksgiving. That could be considered weird, but it's delicious. I get that life isn't about having the perfect mommy and daddy who meet in college and fall in love and love each other until they die and have a beautiful home with ironed sheets and lint free cashmere sweaters. It's sometimes like that, but not always.

I think that our society puts aside their true feelings in order to feel better about themselves. When people say, "Children are starving in Africa. Your problems aren't as big as that", we're doing our selfs a disservice. My favorite author, John Green, who has taught me so much and as influenced the way I view the world, taught me that we all have pain. And that putting it aside and saying it doesn't matter compared to other people is bad for us. Just because others have pain worse than us doesn't mean that our pain evaporates into thin air. I'm not saying that when a child throws a temper tantrum about her parents purchasing the boots she wanted in the wrong shade of beige that her behavior is excusable because she is feeling pain. I'm saying that even the most fortunate people deal with cancer, sickness, depression, doubt, uncertainty, and pain. I've dealt with pain and misfortunate events, and sometimes it does feel good to say that other people have it worse and that I'm fortunate to have these pains compared to other pains, but I've learned that in the long run it hurts more. I've learned to deal with pain and acknowledge pain that other people have and realize that it all gets better.

When people talk about the starving children in Africa, I don't think they realize that there are starving kids in Chicago. In Lake County. In Buffalo Grove. We're not all as fortunate as we think we are.

I believe in living life to the fullest, and being a walking cliche and smiling and loving and skipping down a street. I believe in dancing in front of strangers and eating french fries until your stomach explodes, and laughing at slapstick comedy. I know that everyone has different view of what they want to do with their lives, but as long as those things aren't harmful to others and are beneficial to yourselves, that that's what that person should be dong.

I believe that we all need to feel safe in our environment in order to truly embrace who we love, what we love, why we love it, and where we're going in life, and the only way to accomplish this security within ourselves is knowing that others accept us for who we are and what we believe in.